Because those hilarious recaps by Greg Bausch inspired this whole challenge, I decide to write a Bachelor recap in his style. I set up by opening a Word doc in addition to my usual Twitter home page. In between Tweets, I frantically type notes on the doc. This makes me completely useless as a conversationalist. I sweat a little under the pressure of recording an accurate timeline, in addition to my reactions and funny quotes from the gallery of watchers at my house.
Basically I'm frantically working, stressing out about everything all the time. How can I balance plot and critique? How many direct quotes can I capture from the women? Why isn't anyone faving or RTing me?
Finally, Chris Harrison says that "if we're ready" it's time for the final rose. I hate how he says, "If you're ready," because obviously the Bach or Bach-ette has to give the rose regardless of being ready. No time to think too hard about that, though, because I have a new problem: When will I have time to write and publish? I have to go to bed immediately after the show, obvi. Next morning, I wake up at the crack of dawn and start writing, and I'm filled with self doubt. It's not funny. It's too similar to my mentor text. I'm focusing on the wrong details. I'm not good at writing Bachelor recaps. In the end, I've spent 45 minutes on it, and I'm still not done.
I begin to realize that writing Bachelor recaps in the style of Greg Bausch doesn't really fit in to my schedule. I'm going to have to limit the recaps to shorter, less complicated events. That's the sad truth. My amazing journey is over, and the Bachelor is just not the right medium for me.